The New Golden Rule: Why Treating Others How They Want to Be Treated Changes Everything

We've all heard it a million times: "Treat others as you'd like to be treated." It's been drilled into us since kindergarten, right? And honestly, it's not bad advice. But here's the thing — it's incomplete.

The problem with the traditional Golden Rule is that it assumes everyone is just like you. That they want the same things, communicate the same way, and thrive under the same conditions. Spoiler alert: they don't.

It's Time for a New Golden Rule

Here's what I propose: "Treat others as they'd like to be treated."

Revolutionary? Maybe not. But it's a game-changer when you actually put it into practice.

This isn't about abandoning your own needs or bending over backwards for everyone. It's about recognizing that the people you work with — your team, your clients, your colleagues — are individuals with their own preferences, communication styles, and ways of working. And when you honour that? Magic happens.

How to Put This Into Practice (Without Losing Your Mind)

1. Challenge Your Assumptions

Start by getting real with yourself. Ask: "Are my assumptions about this person based on their experiences and preferences, or just my own?"

Maybe you assume everyone wants detailed project updates because you do. Or that everyone prefers Slack messages over emails. Or that everyone works best with tight deadlines.

Take a step back and question whether you're projecting your own work style onto others. Because chances are, you probably are (we all do it!).

2. Ask Questions — And Actually Listen

This is the part where you have to get a little vulnerable and just... ask. I know, revolutionary concept, right?

Try questions like:

• "How do you prefer to communicate? Email, phone, text, carrier pigeon?"

• "What does your ideal workday look like?"

• "In what format do you need information about this project?"

• "What kind of feedback is most helpful to you?"

And here's the kicker: when they answer, really listen. Don't just wait for your turn to talk or mentally prepare your response. Listen to understand, not to respond.

3. Find the Common Denominator

Okay, so you've asked the questions and discovered that your colleague's preferences are completely different from yours. Now what?

Look for the common ground. You might not be able to agree on everything (and that's okay!), but try agreeing on just one thing.

Maybe you prefer morning meetings and they prefer afternoon check-ins. Can you compromise on late morning? Maybe you love detailed reports and they prefer quick bullet points. Can you do bullet points with an option to dive deeper if needed?

A small win-win will make both of you feel respected and seen. And that's worth its weight in gold.

Why This Matters in Bookkeeping and Accounting

In our industry, we work with so many different personality types. The entrepreneur who wants a quick text update. The corporate client who needs everything documented in triplicate. The anxious business owner who needs reassurance. The hands-off client who just wants you to handle it.

If we treat them all the same way — our way — we're going to miss the mark with at least half of them.

But when we take the time to understand how they want to be treated, how they want to communicate, how they want to receive information? That's when we become trusted advisors instead of just service providers.

The Bottom Line

The new Golden Rule isn't about making things harder for yourself. It's about making things better for everyone.

Yes, it takes a little more effort upfront. Yes, it requires you to be flexible and adaptable. But the payoff? Stronger relationships, better communication, fewer misunderstandings, and a work environment where everyone feels valued.

So the next time you're about to send that email, schedule that meeting, or start that project, pause for a second. Ask yourself: "Am I doing this my way, or in a way that works for them?"

Trust me, it makes all the difference.

Until next time,